HOW IT WORKS

The First Step

It usually happens that one person contacts me, but immediately we set up a meeting with the other spouse.  This ensures that you both have the same information and communication from me and my relationship will begin with both of you at the same time.  Even in the early stage of deciding whether mediation is the right choice, the balance of power has to be equitable; you need to share equal ownership of the process and you both need to feel you are on equal footing with me.

Being Your Own Best Advocate

The most important factor in allowing the mediation process to be successful is your ability to advocate effectively for yourself.  This is especially important when you are also looking out for the needs of your children.  It's a challenging balance that many fail to achieve daily as parents as we take care of our kids, or as partners to each other when we forget our own needs.

When there are children involved, I stress a child-focused mediation. The care of your children is a constant theme throughout the process. We balance your own needs, your own assets, your own financial well-being, emotional stability, care and safety against your children's feelings of stability, their sense of connection with both parents, their fear of the unknown and their emotional struggles.

When children are not involved, we strive to negotiate a separation where each party feels that they stood up for themselves while respecting the other. The goal is for each of you to move forward into your new lives feeling strong and comfortable in your agreement without resentment or regret.

Your Commitment To The Process And My Commitment To You

The financial arrangement is that each spouse assumes the responsibility for half of the mediation costs. Through experience, I have found that when a person commits financially to a process they own it, and that is essential for the mediation to work. 

I do not charge for emails or for one to one phone calls.  If you have questions, concerns or just need to check in, you won't be charged.  I believe that I can not properly represent you if I don't understand what you are feeling, what you are struggling with, or what you have questions about. And I can not properly discover these things if you hesitate to call me.

Any individual communication with either party will be documented in an email to both of you.

My Goal Is For You To Come Out Of This Very Difficult Time In Your Lives With Your Emotions And Your Finances Intact

My mediation process includes writing your Separation Agreement: the binding agreement that documents the new relationship you will be creating.  We meet multiple times, in two to three hour sessions. We work through your finances, child scheduling, communication issues; really anything that needs to be addressed to separate the two of you yet keep you connected as parents.  After our meetings, I will write up your Agreement, review all other necessary forms, and prepare you to go to court to file your Joint Petition for Divorce.

Fee Structure

My initial retainer is $2,500.00, which covers up to ten hours of mediation service.  This included review of all written documents, all joint meetings with you and the time spent drafting your Separation Agreement. I do not charge for one-to-one phone calls, for calls required to schedule meetings or for email communications. Any hours beyond the initial ten will be billed at an hourly rate of $275.00.

This Is Not Just About You 

Based on my experience, I have found that the traditional route to divorce, with each spouse retaining their own lawyer, though necessary for some, is adversarial in design and ultimately detrimental to the health of a family. Your lawyer is there to look out for your own best interest and not necessarily your family as a whole. 

But when it comes to separating your marriage, especially when you have children, it is not just about you.  It is about your children and about each of you as the parents of these children. You will be in each other's lives for the rest of your lives. You want this process to be about addressing the issue of your marriage and divorce, not about taking from each other, working against each other, and eating away at your finances.

I truly believe that it is worth it to try and approach the divorce process in this way.