DIVORCE MEDIATION

Ending Your Marriage While Sustaining Your Family

The end of a marriage doesn't mean the end of kindness, concern or respect.  If you are ready to embark on your path towards divorce, I'm here to work with you to achieve an outcome that is equitable and healing to both of you.  By choosing mediation over the traditional adversarial approach to divorce you are making a commitment to the needs not only of yourself but to each other.

I truly believe that I can help you and your spouse navigate through the emotions you are experiencing in your lives right now.  I stress that you need the same kindness and intention entering a divorce as you did entering your marriage.  I understand that there is a lot of anger, frustration, resentment, sadness and loss that goes into the dissolution of a marriage.  I address and respect each spouse's concerns while working to creates a positive future for each going forward.

My Hybrid Methodology to Mediation

I employ two different mediation styles when I work with you.  The lawyer in me is evaluative: I assist you in your choices by explaining how the legal system would approach the decisions you have to make.  I tell you how each of your attorneys would likely advocate were you in a traditional divorce. I explain how the courts are currently ruling, what the trends are in the law, what a likely outcome would be.

The mediator in me is your compassionate facilitator:  I ask you questions, normalize your answers, reword your dialog so that you can really "hear" each other's opinions, help you find common ground and enable you to work together through the process.

By merging these two approaches I am able to lead you down the path but not write your story for you.  My goal is to give you the tools you need- information and knowledge, understanding of the law and awareness of the ramifications of your choices, so that you can be in charge of the outcome of the mediation.

 

Addressing Your Emotions While Mediating Your Divorce

Though I am adamant that emotional battles should not be played out through the legal system, I strive to address the emotional aspect of divorce and respect the individual struggles that each of you face.

This process helps you, but it also helps me as the more I understand the struggles you each face the better I can lead a mediation that works for you both within the dynamic of your current relationship.

Thus, an interesting balance exists in the mediation: the structures we create together through the process, and the resulting document that serves as your Agreement, are negotiated clearly and not through anger, fear or retribution, while I ask that you constantly acknowledge how each of you handles this very stressful time and we take time to honor your emotions.  The result is an Agreement that is long-lasting.

When There Are Children Involved

When you have children, my approach to mediation is very child-focused with the intention of sustaining your family while ending your marriage.  Despite the fact that you are deciding to end your marriage you are both still parents of these children you had together.   The goal is to keep that fact at the forefront of your mind, keep your children feeling grounded, and create a situation where they don't have to address their parents' issues. This is not just about ending your marriage. This is about creating a new, healthy relationship going forward as you continue to parent your children, together.

The Challenging Dynamic Of Teenage And Young Adult Children

On occasion, I have brought teenage children into the divorce mediation process.  The responsibility of holding a family together does not just rest on the shoulders of the parents.  Children are active members of the family and teenage/young adult children are mature enough and responsible for maintaining authentic relationships with each parent.